i've got a different approach to dealing with emotion

currently: better today - ne-yo
spring break's been.. um, interesting.

my birthday party: crackinnnn at first, then someone exploded. which ruined it. honestly, it was a selfish thing for you to do. i'm not tryna act like a spoiled bitch but on my birthday party you really don't have to act like that. the way you handled it surprised the fuck out of me. cussing in MY house, in front of MY family. calling me phony? &then cussing out your whole entire crew. we didn't do anythingto you..you can blame it on the alcohol but you said you didn't regret anything. so don't play that shit. i thought we were sisters. one by one the numbers started to dwindle, and who were left? my real friends, who would do anything, and i thank you guys. my seniors. fsho. ..and today you im me saying sorry. you i know i love you, i would never do anything to hurt you or cause any disrespect. and what do you do? disrespect me to the highest extent it could possibly be taken. honestly, i don't know what to say to you. i really don't. i'm over it, it's the past. but idk forgiving you right now at this very second? i'm not sure if that's possible right now. i will eventually, but it's too fresh. i've been living life and i'm fine. i've had the craziest past 2 days of my life. all i wanted was for people to be happy and be stress free. a total 360? yeah. oh well.

was yesterday night any better? nah. same shit. stressin, stressin, stressin. and wth i ask you to be there for me, you say you'll be there for me..but you bring me right down. i acted like everything was fine on the phone, but honestly i wanted to slap the shit out of you. i'm sick of arguing with you all the freakin time because you hurt me. but i've decided to suck it up and swallow every piece of shit you throw at me. idk why, because i think i should keep you around as a friend..? because we have good times, and some of those times are ones that no one else can share with me. but everyone's asking me when enough is enough..and i really don't know when that is with you. you're just a really blunt person, but i know the difference between blunt and straight up fucked up. you really pissed me off, and when i keep it real with you, you think i'm delusional? thanks. ohh and everything i tell you, you end up sharing it with the world. we have a wonderful friendship. i think we should have a different kind of relationship cus i just get all the side effects while you have a grand ol' fucking time.

and you.. i'm sick of you imitating me 24/7. can you be your own damn self? please? because it's coming down freakin away messages on aim wth! i know they say imitation is the highest form of flattery but it's annoying. haha but real talk tho, you've done some real disrespectful shit to me too. i tell you about it, and you don't even take it seriously. so much for bffs? at the variety show you really pissed me off too..but whatever. i guess i'm gonna do things solo from now on.i will talk to you about it, when i'm ready, but right now, there's too much shit on my plate. and i'm trying to digest one thing at a time.