Just got back from clubbing at nv. My back, knees, and feet hurt from dancing with 4 inch heels on. Boots boots boots next time! I need a deep tissue massage or some some. Finals are done! Now time to chill and practice my driving. My new phone is acting up and not doing what its supposed to. Damnit!. Gonna go chill in bed and rest my hurting self:(
tmrtmrtmr and i'm DONE with the fall semester of 2010. attempting to study my assssss offff. CHRISTMAS! then TOGETHER AS ONE 2k11. SO READY.
Up doing this term paper, asking Adrian to buy me coffee.. not a fan of coffee, but in times of desperation (like this night) I NEEED ITTT. So I don't know JACK about coffee what the difference is between a latte, mocha, and macchiatto(sp?)BUT I DO KNOW..
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DID YOU KNOW?
For the last 20 years, the people of Bergen, Norway have tried to make the world’s largest gingerbread house city.
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^^ HAHA! While looking up what fucking coffee to get at Starbucks they threw this random fact at the bottom of the "gingerbread latte" page. How sad and pathetic is that. Idk, gave me the lulz.. anyway, back to the paper..
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DID YOU KNOW?
For the last 20 years, the people of Bergen, Norway have tried to make the world’s largest gingerbread house city.
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^^ HAHA! While looking up what fucking coffee to get at Starbucks they threw this random fact at the bottom of the "gingerbread latte" page. How sad and pathetic is that. Idk, gave me the lulz.. anyway, back to the paper..
Makeup work for journalism, term paper for history, term project presentation for history, take home test for music, music final, journalism test. WHYYYYY!!!!
Hello fall semester 2010 hell week. I wish you did not exist.
I AM GOING TO NEED SO MUCH COFFEE THIS WEEK. (note that i hate coffee.)
heeeree we gooooo
Hello fall semester 2010 hell week. I wish you did not exist.
I AM GOING TO NEED SO MUCH COFFEE THIS WEEK. (note that i hate coffee.)
heeeree we gooooo
Honestly..
All I want is to spend time with you. I wish we had more of that. I wish that you wouldn't leave me for your boys when we planned to hang out. Bros before hoes. Chicks before dicks. I dig it, but you can't blow people off like that. Why make someone a priority when they only make you an option? I wish you would love me the way you did before. People change. Things change. Shit happens. I wish.
Teedra Moses - Be your girl.
All I want is to spend time with you. I wish we had more of that. I wish that you wouldn't leave me for your boys when we planned to hang out. Bros before hoes. Chicks before dicks. I dig it, but you can't blow people off like that. Why make someone a priority when they only make you an option? I wish you would love me the way you did before. People change. Things change. Shit happens. I wish.
Teedra Moses - Be your girl.
Idk what I even want anymore :\
I want to take steps forward, but I'm not sure if they'll only pull me back.
Things don't feel right. It's not supposed to feel like this. I'm supposed to be happy. I waited for you to come back, and now that you're here again.. it's just not the same.
Audition in January.. should I cancel or go through with it? This could be my way out. I need to get a monologue. Ugh.. I'm so stressed.
Being indecisive comes with a price.
I want to take steps forward, but I'm not sure if they'll only pull me back.
Things don't feel right. It's not supposed to feel like this. I'm supposed to be happy. I waited for you to come back, and now that you're here again.. it's just not the same.
Audition in January.. should I cancel or go through with it? This could be my way out. I need to get a monologue. Ugh.. I'm so stressed.
Being indecisive comes with a price.
"Fool can't play the wise but the wise can act a fool."
Alright recap of this weekend and other occurrences.
Friday: Delta Upsilon's heaven and hell party at sjsu. Super crazy. Hella people. Got pretty drunk. Met some cool people. Had a bomb ass taco from Iguanas. Me and Eileen were smooothieeeees.
Saturday: Went to the International Taiko Festival in the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. It was amazing. Had to go for a concert for World Music class but I really wasn't trippin. Me + Japan + Drums = WIN. Literally teared 3 times during the performance cause it was that beautiful to me. Oh music, you never fail to undress your beauty to my ears. Anywhooo. Then later had Adrian's birthday party at my house. Which actually irritated me at first, and still kinda does cause some people were inviting people and DIDN'T ask me. Which is my number one pet peeve in the universe about parties. That party was supposed to be really small. I don't understand how it got so big -__- Lord. I def did not say that shit was open house. But anyway, felt kinda weird and mad that someone that acts totally salty to me when I try to extend a hand came and then decided to be all nice when they arrived. Ugh just so done with high school and stupid stuff that doesn't need to happen. So I was just like whatever... shit happens. Roll with the punches. SO many people yacked and left my house a mess. Like usually my house isn't too bad after parties but this was probably the dirtiest party everrrr. Oh well, what can be expected? It's clean now, most of it virtually. hahah.
Sunday: Next morning wasn't hungover at all, but then got a fever that night at work. It was terrible, my manager wouldn't let me leave. I was so sick I was crying, wth.. who cries when they're sick? EXACTLY. Like ..is that shit legal?! AND I WAS CLOSING. nigggaa.. but yeah Candice said she'd close for me, there was about and hour and a half left of work. I was so grateful and happy she did that. THANK YOUUU. Holy crap. So I got to west portal, Adrian picked me up we went to Safeway to get soup. Saw ET, went home. Slept, sweated the shit outta that fever, now I've got a stuffy asthmatic chest and nose. Oh and I feel like ultimate poo! Def shoulda gotten my flu shot.
And now, I'm currently procrastinating on studying for a test and doing a journal.
Adios!
Alright recap of this weekend and other occurrences.
Friday: Delta Upsilon's heaven and hell party at sjsu. Super crazy. Hella people. Got pretty drunk. Met some cool people. Had a bomb ass taco from Iguanas. Me and Eileen were smooothieeeees.
Saturday: Went to the International Taiko Festival in the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. It was amazing. Had to go for a concert for World Music class but I really wasn't trippin. Me + Japan + Drums = WIN. Literally teared 3 times during the performance cause it was that beautiful to me. Oh music, you never fail to undress your beauty to my ears. Anywhooo. Then later had Adrian's birthday party at my house. Which actually irritated me at first, and still kinda does cause some people were inviting people and DIDN'T ask me. Which is my number one pet peeve in the universe about parties. That party was supposed to be really small. I don't understand how it got so big -__- Lord. I def did not say that shit was open house. But anyway, felt kinda weird and mad that someone that acts totally salty to me when I try to extend a hand came and then decided to be all nice when they arrived. Ugh just so done with high school and stupid stuff that doesn't need to happen. So I was just like whatever... shit happens. Roll with the punches. SO many people yacked and left my house a mess. Like usually my house isn't too bad after parties but this was probably the dirtiest party everrrr. Oh well, what can be expected? It's clean now, most of it virtually. hahah.
Sunday: Next morning wasn't hungover at all, but then got a fever that night at work. It was terrible, my manager wouldn't let me leave. I was so sick I was crying, wth.. who cries when they're sick? EXACTLY. Like ..is that shit legal?! AND I WAS CLOSING. nigggaa.. but yeah Candice said she'd close for me, there was about and hour and a half left of work. I was so grateful and happy she did that. THANK YOUUU. Holy crap. So I got to west portal, Adrian picked me up we went to Safeway to get soup. Saw ET, went home. Slept, sweated the shit outta that fever, now I've got a stuffy asthmatic chest and nose. Oh and I feel like ultimate poo! Def shoulda gotten my flu shot.
And now, I'm currently procrastinating on studying for a test and doing a journal.
Adios!
I keep thinking I smell things. It's so weird. Lately it's been cigarettes and wine. I hope I'm not crazy :\
Spookfest was amazing. Whoever said you have to roll at a rave to have fun is really fucking stupid. I had fun drunk and sober! People just don't know how to party these days. keke. TAO needs to come sooner. I'm so excited!
Shleeepy. Haven't been to class lately, personal struggles. Hasn't been my cup of tea these pasts couple weeks. I miss certain friends. I feel like I haven't seen or kicked it with them in so long. I was just looking at old facebook pictures and I miss a lot of my friends. I feel so distant from a lot of them now. Maybe it's because we're getting older and people grow apart. I don't know. I miss Eric the most. I never see him anymore. I don't get any texts back either.
Really confused now. Like more than ever. It didn't even feel right. I don't know where I am anymore. I think I know, but IDKKK. Especially right after you lied about something so important...again.. Am I supposed to run back to you like this? This isn't how it played out in my head.
Praying for sanity and a stronger heart. The rewind button would come in handy right now. For now, I'll just close my eyes.
Spookfest was amazing. Whoever said you have to roll at a rave to have fun is really fucking stupid. I had fun drunk and sober! People just don't know how to party these days. keke. TAO needs to come sooner. I'm so excited!
Shleeepy. Haven't been to class lately, personal struggles. Hasn't been my cup of tea these pasts couple weeks. I miss certain friends. I feel like I haven't seen or kicked it with them in so long. I was just looking at old facebook pictures and I miss a lot of my friends. I feel so distant from a lot of them now. Maybe it's because we're getting older and people grow apart. I don't know. I miss Eric the most. I never see him anymore. I don't get any texts back either.
Really confused now. Like more than ever. It didn't even feel right. I don't know where I am anymore. I think I know, but IDKKK. Especially right after you lied about something so important...again.. Am I supposed to run back to you like this? This isn't how it played out in my head.
Praying for sanity and a stronger heart. The rewind button would come in handy right now. For now, I'll just close my eyes.
Grenade - Bruno Mars.
Pretty much sums up everything. Stop messing with me dude, make up your mind. I'm not trying to get hurt again. It was bad enough the first time. You know damn well what you're doing, don't play stupid.
Bought my uke today. Burned a hole into my wallet. Had a pretty horrible day today.
Pretty much sums up everything. Stop messing with me dude, make up your mind. I'm not trying to get hurt again. It was bad enough the first time. You know damn well what you're doing, don't play stupid.
Bought my uke today. Burned a hole into my wallet. Had a pretty horrible day today.
okay so first blog since college started and i gotta say, I LOVE COLLEGE.. so far :)
super juiced when i talked to my transfer counselor today. she didn't really help me, because all we did was look at the schools' websites and she just read it off to me :\ i was thinking wow.. i waited for this appointment to learn info i could've gotten myself. and since i just needed 24 units to transfer i was trying to figure out what classes i should be taking but she wasn't really pushing me in any direction except for having a good portfolio, which i knew i needed already. so i just figured i'd finish college level english and math and do some sciences i guess? UGH. def meeting with a different counselor. she was no help, but in a way she was? haha
but so far, besides school, i've been having a good time being FREE. haha! work is cool. really want a diff job though. hopefully a job at the jcccnc..my childhood right there! really need to take drawing classes and do workshops and crap. oh man. it feels like there's never enough time in the world. i really want to transfer. i've been saying that ever since i knew i was going to a jc my senior year in high school. but anyway, so glad i'm hanging out with my friends a lot. senior year really separated us, except for eileen. but i know a phone works both ways..but jrotc only works one way, and that's "THIS IS YOUR LIFE" hahah. i miss having no life with drum corps and gdt. i miss making a competition piece with a group of people i love. that was the best part. and i most definitely miss show choir. every time i watch glee, i get a little sad inside cause senior year def wasn't how it was supposed to be but everything happens for a reason. i'm drinking a lot more than i should be.. eeek. well not THAT much, but it's more than i'm used to.
but all in all, life after high school is fun fun fun.. feels a little empty, but that's just the uncertainty kicking in.
may i add that.. I'M DYING IN THIS HEAT!
super juiced when i talked to my transfer counselor today. she didn't really help me, because all we did was look at the schools' websites and she just read it off to me :\ i was thinking wow.. i waited for this appointment to learn info i could've gotten myself. and since i just needed 24 units to transfer i was trying to figure out what classes i should be taking but she wasn't really pushing me in any direction except for having a good portfolio, which i knew i needed already. so i just figured i'd finish college level english and math and do some sciences i guess? UGH. def meeting with a different counselor. she was no help, but in a way she was? haha
but so far, besides school, i've been having a good time being FREE. haha! work is cool. really want a diff job though. hopefully a job at the jcccnc..my childhood right there! really need to take drawing classes and do workshops and crap. oh man. it feels like there's never enough time in the world. i really want to transfer. i've been saying that ever since i knew i was going to a jc my senior year in high school. but anyway, so glad i'm hanging out with my friends a lot. senior year really separated us, except for eileen. but i know a phone works both ways..but jrotc only works one way, and that's "THIS IS YOUR LIFE" hahah. i miss having no life with drum corps and gdt. i miss making a competition piece with a group of people i love. that was the best part. and i most definitely miss show choir. every time i watch glee, i get a little sad inside cause senior year def wasn't how it was supposed to be but everything happens for a reason. i'm drinking a lot more than i should be.. eeek. well not THAT much, but it's more than i'm used to.
but all in all, life after high school is fun fun fun.. feels a little empty, but that's just the uncertainty kicking in.
may i add that.. I'M DYING IN THIS HEAT!
damn. i really feel like shit right now. like SHIT. i just don't understand it all. you just gave up on us. my heart beats a million miles a minute every single day. i wonder if it'll get tired cause it's still beating for you. i don't understand why you just left me there. why you didn't have the balls to even say thank you. or anything. just it's over, buh bye. like what the fuck is wrong with you asshole. i'm really trying to move forward now. what sucks is that we were best friends before we even got together. that's shit you can't find. but i guess boys like you are a dime a dozen right? i can't eat anymore. i refuse to eat cause my body feels like complete and utter crap. my diet consists of bread and water. and i don't even like eating bread, i just eat it so i don't get stomach acid. but yeah, i lost so much weight over the last 4 days. my stomach is completely thin. and yeah i want a thin stomach, but not like this. this is super unhealthy. adam forced me to eat two days ago and i hate half a burger and i was full and then i got the runs the next day. fuck this. i feel like throwing up every morning. i can't sleep every night. i wake up in the middle of the night worrying. about you. and it sucks because i don't want to anymore because i know you don't give a rat's ass about me. just think about it. a YEAR. a year and you're just gonna let go like that. so i guess we meant nothing then. for me, i thought our relationship was sooo good. until the end of course, but besides that. we had a healthy and fun relationship. that's what sucks. is that you made it seem like that, and you didn't mean any of it. this just all means nothing now. and you were my FIRST love. and you'll always just be in my head like that. that's what fucking sucks. each day is getting better, but i still worry, shake, get nervous, anxious, feel like crap. and i hate those feelings. but i guess that's part of the healing process right? work is a bitch. i have to pretend i'm happy. i mean i guess that's good cause it's making me smile..but i just want to cry on the inside. there are so many times where i just go into the bathroom and just cry. my co-workers have been the best. maria, will, anthony, and everyone at the restaurant have just been there for me so much. and your family. damn. that's what makes me SUPER sad is that i'm missing out with time with your family. they were the best. i loved them so much. and they totally took care of me. i'm just gonna miss that. they were always behind me in my decisions and always wanted the best for me. that's fuckin love. something you don't have. and never will, for me. it's just sad it had to end like this. i felt that i gave you the most unconditional love ever. like i didn't know i could love a person like that. maybe i gave too much. and you always thought i was getting mad at you, but i just wanted to let you know what upset me so you could make change. i just hate how despite everything, EVERYTHING, i've done for you, and everything you did to me..i still loved you and wanted things to work out and always had hope. but things will never change. nothing lasts forever. watch out for heartbreakers, all they do is take your love and leave.
"...but how we move from A to B it can't be up to me
cause you don't know who i was before you
and basically to see a change in me i'd be losing
so i just ignore you yeah
but you're on my mind."
"...but how we move from A to B it can't be up to me
cause you don't know who i was before you
and basically to see a change in me i'd be losing
so i just ignore you yeah
but you're on my mind."
yes this week and it's "techinically" OVER. i've waited for this day for far too long ^__________^ i'm so excited. i really don't wanna sit through grad though. just wanna get that diploma and BOUNCE. i'm gonna miss the RO program to DEATH though. i wish there was just RO school. man i'm such an ro freak. damnit. oh well :D yeah hmm i'm doing my portfolio for mr kim right now. very hard trying to put grammar lessons into a section..like where the heezy do i put that stuff and the vocab tests that only have ABCDDEFA on them? lol idk what significance that has. heh. ummm hopefully gonna get a summer class with carmen, eric, and adrian at csm. YAY. that class will be hella fun! except i probably wont be paying any attention. oh nos! okay need to get supplies and such. later gator.
ughhh so super heated.
idk how to feel right now. is that really a legit reason? like you're gonna defend her because she's been having a tough time..and she's taking it out on me so i shouldn't trip? she doesnt do it to anyone else. i don't care about her, but i'm just saying how are you gonna defend someone with a phoney/vague ass reason like that. no details at all. just a simple, X happened to her so she's taking it out on you and you guys don't really talk. wth. okaaay. idk it's whatever, all i do is really try to be nice to people and i don't do anything. and somehow someone hates me. its hella funny! if there's anyone i hate at school or in my life, it's that one bitch that fucked up my first 3 years of high school that i could never get back. i really don't hate anyone, except for her.
idk i wish i could talk to eileen right now cause she completely understands me, but she's out. ughhhhh. SUPER VENT! lol ive been blogging lately just to vent..makes me sound like a psycho. but yeah i'm so mad right now. like i don't want to talk to anyone. except for eileen. fuck this dude. on a lighter note, i had a great day until he brought that up with me. but yeah made garters with gdt! yayyy! hella fun. mary's so adorable i love her. kristina, christine, margaret, eveline, and mary hung out for a bit and we chopped it up. the end.
idk how to feel right now. is that really a legit reason? like you're gonna defend her because she's been having a tough time..and she's taking it out on me so i shouldn't trip? she doesnt do it to anyone else. i don't care about her, but i'm just saying how are you gonna defend someone with a phoney/vague ass reason like that. no details at all. just a simple, X happened to her so she's taking it out on you and you guys don't really talk. wth. okaaay. idk it's whatever, all i do is really try to be nice to people and i don't do anything. and somehow someone hates me. its hella funny! if there's anyone i hate at school or in my life, it's that one bitch that fucked up my first 3 years of high school that i could never get back. i really don't hate anyone, except for her.
idk i wish i could talk to eileen right now cause she completely understands me, but she's out. ughhhhh. SUPER VENT! lol ive been blogging lately just to vent..makes me sound like a psycho. but yeah i'm so mad right now. like i don't want to talk to anyone. except for eileen. fuck this dude. on a lighter note, i had a great day until he brought that up with me. but yeah made garters with gdt! yayyy! hella fun. mary's so adorable i love her. kristina, christine, margaret, eveline, and mary hung out for a bit and we chopped it up. the end.
i've wrote this a millionnn times. i want to leave the city. so bad.
i want to travel. relax & explore what's out there. not be stuck in this chunk of 8 miles that doesn't offer anything for me.
ughh. graduation is soon. FINALLY. competition is sooner.
last night was ashley's birthday. we went to karaoke dt and it was fun! her parents paid for EVERYTHING. even the private room and the food. it was yummy too! too bad i couldn't eat a lot cause my canker sores kept hurting. i think i have like 18 in my mouth. i'm not even exaggerating. that sounds hella nasty hahah. i need to go to the doctor. but anyway, after that we went to bun's house to drink and do illegal stuff. it was actually really fun even though i didn't know a lot of the people there it was cool. then i went to albert's cause it's his birthday this weekend too and he was having a thing. mehhh. hahah nothing interesting. i was with my boyfriend and that shit wasn't cool hahaha. dude i ended up chasing adrian around the sunset for 2 blocks -_____- and i couldn't even breathe cause everyone was smoking cigs in bun's garage. ohh and all my clothes smell like that shit. UGH. i threw all my clothes on top of my bunk bed, hoping to wash them separately from my mom's usual loads.
goddd how much more of strict filipinoparents can i get. she doesn't want me to see adrian cause it effects my school. hahahhaha. my life is funny. ha.
i want to travel. relax & explore what's out there. not be stuck in this chunk of 8 miles that doesn't offer anything for me.
ughh. graduation is soon. FINALLY. competition is sooner.
last night was ashley's birthday. we went to karaoke dt and it was fun! her parents paid for EVERYTHING. even the private room and the food. it was yummy too! too bad i couldn't eat a lot cause my canker sores kept hurting. i think i have like 18 in my mouth. i'm not even exaggerating. that sounds hella nasty hahah. i need to go to the doctor. but anyway, after that we went to bun's house to drink and do illegal stuff. it was actually really fun even though i didn't know a lot of the people there it was cool. then i went to albert's cause it's his birthday this weekend too and he was having a thing. mehhh. hahah nothing interesting. i was with my boyfriend and that shit wasn't cool hahaha. dude i ended up chasing adrian around the sunset for 2 blocks -_____- and i couldn't even breathe cause everyone was smoking cigs in bun's garage. ohh and all my clothes smell like that shit. UGH. i threw all my clothes on top of my bunk bed, hoping to wash them separately from my mom's usual loads.
goddd how much more of strict filipinoparents can i get. she doesn't want me to see adrian cause it effects my school. hahahhaha. my life is funny. ha.
i wish i could teleport to new york right now. i'm gonna be stuck here for a while.
it really pisses me off when people don't support you and they just get mad at you. if i'm struggling, or having a hard time..don't you think it's logical to make me feel better? i mean obviously i know i did something wrong, or in another situation, that i'mSTRESSED..so don't make the situation worse by saying something that hurts. people like that just make me want to shut them out of my lives forever because they're no help.
anywhooooo. i've been really creative lately. just experimenting with textures and stuff. idk, just a hobby but yeah. good mental release. i thought lady gaga's telephone video was amazzinggg. even though i hate that song, the costumes were tiiight. and the whole storyboard was cute. i just saw it today, late much? i really wish i had money right now but all of it is going towards ugly prom. boooo! &YESSS turning 18 in less than a month. lezzz goooo. hahah nothing really special about being 18 but hey it's a milestone right? i need more clothes. nom nom nom. not gonna happen any time soon. i didn't chill with dc today cause i told myself i was gonna do hw..FAIL. been on the computer for a very very very VERY substantial amount of time.
it really pisses me off when people don't support you and they just get mad at you. if i'm struggling, or having a hard time..don't you think it's logical to make me feel better? i mean obviously i know i did something wrong, or in another situation, that i'mSTRESSED..so don't make the situation worse by saying something that hurts. people like that just make me want to shut them out of my lives forever because they're no help.
anywhooooo. i've been really creative lately. just experimenting with textures and stuff. idk, just a hobby but yeah. good mental release. i thought lady gaga's telephone video was amazzinggg. even though i hate that song, the costumes were tiiight. and the whole storyboard was cute. i just saw it today, late much? i really wish i had money right now but all of it is going towards ugly prom. boooo! &YESSS turning 18 in less than a month. lezzz goooo. hahah nothing really special about being 18 but hey it's a milestone right? i need more clothes. nom nom nom. not gonna happen any time soon. i didn't chill with dc today cause i told myself i was gonna do hw..FAIL. been on the computer for a very very very VERY substantial amount of time.
welps just trying to graduate. real fast. asap actually. but that's not happening for a while! school's become so monotonous and i've just about had it. there's really nothing to look forward to :( i wish i could just go to practice and that's my day.
erm so yesterday was thee 6 months. i was being pretty ridicks because i took us to a warehouse that wasn't open to the public to look for prom dress. NICE ONE RAISA. yeah not cool. and thennn i was getting irritated about finding a dress but i didn't wanna tell adrian i wanted to go home cause then that'd just be a waste of gas. so we met up with steven ate lunch, had wingstop for the very first time in my life and then he gave us a tour of his house. it was chill. the day got sorta better at the end, but not really. ughh i've been pretty down lately. how lame is that! like the whole last week it was like a piece of poo :( and this week i feel is gonna be like the repeat button. if that made sense. OSDALKJHUADLKS. can it be summer please? or can i just live in disneyland? that'd be cool too.
erm so yesterday was thee 6 months. i was being pretty ridicks because i took us to a warehouse that wasn't open to the public to look for prom dress. NICE ONE RAISA. yeah not cool. and thennn i was getting irritated about finding a dress but i didn't wanna tell adrian i wanted to go home cause then that'd just be a waste of gas. so we met up with steven ate lunch, had wingstop for the very first time in my life and then he gave us a tour of his house. it was chill. the day got sorta better at the end, but not really. ughh i've been pretty down lately. how lame is that! like the whole last week it was like a piece of poo :( and this week i feel is gonna be like the repeat button. if that made sense. OSDALKJHUADLKS. can it be summer please? or can i just live in disneyland? that'd be cool too.
not the legit one. we don't have those. haha anyway
haven't blogged in a while. but i felt like it was a good time to since i'm up late and i'm having a deep conversation with my homie steven.
"we're living to die."
its pretty crazy how life is. how one moment you can be so heated and the next thing you know you're in love. mainey as fuck. but yeah just talking about the future and stress and shit like that.
so today i really realized what i like in people. not even like friends, but like people in general. i never really thought about it, just if they're nice, can keep conversation. but like down ass people im talking about. the substance of the conversation. idk weird, but i like it.
haven't blogged in a while. but i felt like it was a good time to since i'm up late and i'm having a deep conversation with my homie steven.
"we're living to die."
its pretty crazy how life is. how one moment you can be so heated and the next thing you know you're in love. mainey as fuck. but yeah just talking about the future and stress and shit like that.
so today i really realized what i like in people. not even like friends, but like people in general. i never really thought about it, just if they're nice, can keep conversation. but like down ass people im talking about. the substance of the conversation. idk weird, but i like it.
yay its 5:23 am! sike. i wish i could sleep. i think god woke me up at 5 because i didn't even start my spanish final... and it's today! woopsies! hella ktfo'd last night just cause i'm on my rag/stressed/tired/everythingelseyoucanthinkof.
so i really need to see a chiropractor but i keep forgetting to go. taking tylenol/motrin won't save me forever. uggghhh getting back spasms at like random times of the day is the worst part of it cause it just comes outta nowhere and it feels like someone's shredding your insides! gay.
I WOULD BREAK OUT BEFORE BRIGADE. LAMEEE. fat pimple on my right cheek. it's one of those blemishes where its like not fully formed and it hurt/itches. those are the bitches! (haha at the stupid ass rhyme) i don't even know who i'm going with anymore. i need to find chelsea a date, and i'm not tryna go with matt if chels is gonna be third wheeling it. stressin!
but yeah. i need to do this presentation thing for spanish. and i needa study for physio. oh god i didnt study at all for this FOURHUNDRED point final. UGHH. you know why? cause i just wanna freakin get out of lincoln! i wish spring comp could come now! and then after that goodbyeeee! Hello senoritis!
so i really need to see a chiropractor but i keep forgetting to go. taking tylenol/motrin won't save me forever. uggghhh getting back spasms at like random times of the day is the worst part of it cause it just comes outta nowhere and it feels like someone's shredding your insides! gay.
I WOULD BREAK OUT BEFORE BRIGADE. LAMEEE. fat pimple on my right cheek. it's one of those blemishes where its like not fully formed and it hurt/itches. those are the bitches! (haha at the stupid ass rhyme) i don't even know who i'm going with anymore. i need to find chelsea a date, and i'm not tryna go with matt if chels is gonna be third wheeling it. stressin!
but yeah. i need to do this presentation thing for spanish. and i needa study for physio. oh god i didnt study at all for this FOURHUNDRED point final. UGHH. you know why? cause i just wanna freakin get out of lincoln! i wish spring comp could come now! and then after that goodbyeeee! Hello senoritis!
i'm so irritated with my sister. she should either stay and live at home or get the fuck out cause right now she's just using our family and it's fucking annoying. i hate how she can talk to me however she wants and i hate how she can come home and sleep here whenever she wants and she can leave and walk out on us however she wants. she's turning to my dad. great. i hope i don't turn out like that. she needs to get a fucking job and be financially stable and take advantage of her fucking education cause it's hella irritating when she's like "oh i have no money blah blah blah" and asks us for some. like UGKJSDLKSJLJShlkj. and she totally trashed the one side of the room i cleaned cause she's moving her clothes from what used to be our room to her new room i guess downstairs? so i guess ramon and regina will be sharing a room when ramon comes back. that's going to be worse. hah. well whatever, no one likes sleeping in my room anymore cause it's right next to my parents'. i hate it too, shit i don't blame them, but at least i have my own space. i wish i could get zapped on to neptune and just chill.
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