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13.

tired. eyes are swollen. nose is running. yuckies.

finished formations today. need to work on making the bass beat for the new new beat haha. otherwise, pretty much done, we still need to be sharper and whatnot be we got thisss. throughout everything duuude. first place! i'm just counting down the days til comp. i hope the underclassmen really take it in. i know they all plan on staying next year except for like 1 person kinda? but yeah. their first year will seem like nothing when it comes to senior year. :)

needa remind babe to put air in his tires. hmm hmm hmm. haven't got to sleep in all break. pretty lame. &i haven't finished my csu apps. just need to go over them but i've been procrastinating. aiyaiiiii. didn't get to hang out with elaine or carmen :( and i bought everything regular price on black friday. haha useless. still need to get elaine, carmen, adrian, ponyo, eileen, ashley, and my siblings stuff. holiday shopping is stressful! jeeebus. anyway, off to sleep. needs to catch up on that. 

friday.

hellos. it's black friday and i'm not going out! well in like 30 mins i am, but nothing's gonna be left. parents didn't let me go with eileen to gilroy. wooo strict filipino parents! yesterday was cool tho, hung out with my baby and performed at turkey day. too bad lincoln got murked 35-0 tho. but anyway, needa get my drum corps secret santa present! i think i do a pretty good job when it comes to presents and i love this person so we shall seeeee. going outsies now. later!

you don't wanna do that..

i'm just waiting for all of you to really go off. i got my niggas ready if it really comes down to it.

fuckin shit, hella disrespectful. i swear to god, you're the most insensitive ass bitches i've ever met. you don't give a fuck do you guys? stop being fuckin five year olds. fuckin selfish and shit. there are other people here too. you say you recognize that but you're all full of shit. why don't you guys be good "role models" and execute what you want to be achieved then if we aren't doing it. fuckin bitches. you take on this position and tell me it's easy. you're lucky i didn't punch you in the fuckin face. how dare you say "fuck health problems" ...  whatever, would you like it if my back breaks and i become paralyzed from the waist down? would that satisfy your needs? thats what you guys are.. NEEDY. it's all about you. you guys make it all about yourselves. you don't confront us when you have problems, you just keep them bottled in until it gets worse. and you know what else you guys are? fucking babies. grow the fuck up. mature and help other people, don't just BITCH. because when you BITCH at people, you become a BITCH. i'm sick of this shit, i tried being the bigger man and being nice to you guys and doing my part. don't tell me i don't do my part, because i do. fuck that. i can't believe YOU out of all people have the audacity to say something like that. who the fuck are you? heated as fuck. don't fuck with me, i swear i'll make your life a living hell..

NO GUTS, NO GLORY.

i'm going to do this, and this time, i'm not chickening out.

starting out small, gonna make it to the top.

watch me.

the best nights.

friday night was intense. watched the girls' vars volleyball championship game vs. lowell at kezar then went to justin's birthday party at bun's house. it was very intense hahah. saw my girl olivia and my n word justin for the first time in a bajillion years. i miss emmm. after that, went to ben's birthday party then went to jollibee with adrian cause i was hungry hungry hungry.
last night was really fun. minus looking for parking with adrian for like 30-40 mins. not cool! ate at poleng and then after went to fort miley with the group. played catch with adrian while everyone was just sitting in their cars and then eric busted out the portable table from his trunk. hahah too bad we didn't see there was a lock on the legs so eric fell on his beeeehind! adrian, carmen, and eric played deuces and then eric tried to teach me how to jerk...FAIL. i must practice. sike! afterwards we went to quicklys and chopped it up. saw my niggy eric tan! stays cappin on me :( hahah keiah lookin like a dementor! <3
got a freakin 7 out of 9 on my personal statement for mr kim. grrr. i would want an 8 or some some. but its cool, only my rough draft. slippin in ms reis's. must study! and samesies for ms. z. and spanish is on a whole 'nother level of studying. i hate school. blah blah blah. ready to graduate and honestly i don't care much for prom. okay need to make up the 32840274 journals i didn't do for mr. kim's. adios.

happy birthday elaine wong + justin loi. :)

another day.

just waiting for the day til i graduate. seems so far from now.
my mom's leaving for the philippines tonight, and my dad came back a couple days ago. great i'm stuck with him now :/
so i'm really confused about college. i don't know if i really want to do music or not. this whole julliard thing has got me stressed. maybe i shouldn't apply and just do an average career. but idk there's really nothing else i want to do that passionately. like i'm down to do social science or political science in college too but i don't want it as bad as having a singing career. it's either i give it my all or i don't, and i'm really confused on whether i should or not.
i really miss having legit show choir at school.
i need $$$! i need to get that job after drum corps season ends. mhm. but then i don't know if i want to do something else after drum corps. and i'm not sure if i even want to play basketball in the spring. even though it's the last season i'll ever play in my life, idk if it even makes me happy anymore. i don't have any motivation to play anymore.