another day.

just waiting for the day til i graduate. seems so far from now.
my mom's leaving for the philippines tonight, and my dad came back a couple days ago. great i'm stuck with him now :/
so i'm really confused about college. i don't know if i really want to do music or not. this whole julliard thing has got me stressed. maybe i shouldn't apply and just do an average career. but idk there's really nothing else i want to do that passionately. like i'm down to do social science or political science in college too but i don't want it as bad as having a singing career. it's either i give it my all or i don't, and i'm really confused on whether i should or not.
i really miss having legit show choir at school.
i need $$$! i need to get that job after drum corps season ends. mhm. but then i don't know if i want to do something else after drum corps. and i'm not sure if i even want to play basketball in the spring. even though it's the last season i'll ever play in my life, idk if it even makes me happy anymore. i don't have any motivation to play anymore.