decisions, decisions.

"I'll never give up, because if I do, I'll never get to find out what would have happened if I stuck it out."

that's what i'm feeling deep inside. but there's something holding me back. i really don't know what to do. i love gdt like when i quit oh shitttt. that was not a good time in my life. but now that show choir and drum corps and my hard classes are out of the way. what do i have to lose? well i have AP gov but its one ap class so it shouldn't be that hard, i'm still on enchantees and idk if i really want to be there or not..actually i know i don't want to be there but i'm scared about the same thing with gdt. like what if i miss out on something. it is my last year in high school and i'm trying to make this ride worthwhile. 5 more months and i'm outta here. if they accept me again, i know if i stay it wouldn't be a decision i would regret. the experience is freaking amazing. but the time. the time is intense. 5 months for 5 minutes. but it's not just 5 minutes. its the bond with the girls and it's the drilling. shit when i see them out there in parades i'm already hella trippin cause i miss it. yeah i do drill at home sometimes cause i miss it. fuck. i really don't know what to do. actually fuck that, i do know what i want to do. i'm just scared to do it. fear.